Made It!!

So we made it to Washington...finally!! Took us long enough but here we are!! From what we have seen it is absolutely gorgeous here and from what we hear, it's only going to get better as the seasons change.

Currently we are in temporary housing on post and it's not that great. It's a hotel room with a kitchenette. My man and I sleeping in the same room with three kids...yowza! All of us are pretty sick of each other and ready to scream at the end of the day but then realize that we are very lucky to have each other. We'll make it through!

We think we may have found a house on our first day out. It's 4 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths right in our price range. Funny story how we found it. First Baines found where the Cabela's store was...then we branched out our house hunting from there. Surprise...the perfect house...down the street! We called the number and the owners let us in right then. The only thing is that we would have to stay in temp housing for another week or so. Ugh!!

I'm looking forward to starting our lives here together and once we have all the kids with us, it should be even more fun.

Home

Here we are...the first week out! The drive to home took three days and a lot of bathroom breaks. We finally made it in on Tuesday evening around 9pm, which is about midnight midwest time. Needless to say, we were all exhausted and ready to call it a night. Home at last!!

Wednesday morning, after shoving Baines out the door for his first day back at work, the kids and I unloaded the moving trailer. The process to "girlie up" the bachelor pad had begun. After a few hours of scrubbing the place down, it started to feel like a place I could live...a little anyways. Don't misunderstand me. Baines isn't a slob or anything, he's just a guy. And we all know that guys do not throughly clean. Unless their gay...which I can assure you, Baines is not. (Now that's a completely different blog.)

Baines and I are still feeling our way around each other regarding the household. Each of us have our own way of doing things and it's a process of deciding what to let him have and things that I will fight for. For instance, the toilet seat. Why can't men just put it back down? It's a battle of the sexes that has been raging since indoor plumbing was introduced. The important thing is that we love each other and are willing to work through our differences for our family. Compromise and communication are key.

The next chapter leads us to Washington. In a matter of weeks, we will be moving once again to start all over again. This brings about a clean slate to start our life in our home. I am so excited to see what adventures we encounter this time!

And...I'm Out...

Tomorrow evening will be the beginning of my new life. A life with a man who loves me, adores me and above all, respects me as a person. Tomorrow will be the first day of my new life and I could not be more excited!

My family is not too happy to say the least and I can't understand why. I have lived in this place for over 10 years and have been so unhappy for the majority. This has never felt like home to me and I always knew in the back of my mind that I would leave. It was only a matter of time. That time has come. Be happy that I am moving on with what I want to do. Be happy that I am doing what I have said for years that I was going to do. Most of all, just be happy that I am finally happy.

I have children that have barely left the state. Growing up in a military family, I was fortunate to have seen a lot of places and meet many diverse people. I feel that having those experiences has enriched my life greatly and has made me see the world in a way that not many people get to participate in. Now, I have the opportunity to pass those experiences and lessons learned onto my own children. Granted, not everyone agrees with me pulling them from school and moving them to the other side of the country. But I know my children better than anyone else ever could and I am confident that they will flourish.

There will be hard times, I know. I have never been this far from my immediate family and I will definitely miss them. My kids will not always be so excited about living so far from the only home they have ever known. I know this and understand every one's concerns. But in the long run, my kids will have more opportunities than they could have where we currently are.

This place is full of closed minded people who have barely left their front porch. I refuse to let my kids to grow up in that environment. I refuse to live in that environment myself. Don't get me wrong, I have made friends here but it has been few and far between. Once people hear my ideals on worldly things, I'm completely written off. I never want my children to have to experience that in their life and the only way to do that is to teach them that there is an entire world out there for them to conquer. What better way than to let them see and experience it for themselves?

I will miss my family greatly. My sister is my best friend and she seems to be the only one in this world who completely understands me. My parents are nutty just like anyone else's parents, but they are mine and they have helped me through so much. But it's time to live my life for me and my kids.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. Hope you all stop in for a visit once in awhile.

Found My Niche!

I think I found my calling: Photography. It's always been an interest of mine but I never thought of actually making a career out of it. But this past week, I have had three paying photography jobs. It's so exciting to do something that I have such a passion for and make money doing it!

I still get nervous when outside people look at my work. Putting a piece of your own art out there for everyone to see is a little nerve-wracking. And it doesn't matter what your art may be (i.e. painting, poetry, sculpting), it is your personal portrayal of the world. Sharing it with someone is like letting them have a look directly into your soul. Not everyone is going to agree with your portrayal either. There will always be critics, the biggest being yourself.

Guilty??

I have a little over a week left and I keep waiting for something to go wrong. Everything about my relationship with this man has gone so smoothly. Almost too smoothly.

In my past, everytime I tried to do something, there were roadblocks. Seeing these as mere challenges to my dreams, I fought hard and overcame those barriers. I would come out the other side and things didn't turn out as I believed that they should have. There was heartache, sorrow and my life was worse than before. If I were smart, I would have seen those roadblocks for what they truly were; clear signs that I was on the wrong path.

But there are no roadblocks here. No hurdles to jump, no walls to break down. My sister, who is wise beyond her years, tells me that I need to calm down and focus on what is important. This relationship is meant to be. I am happier than I have ever been and am so excited to be this man's wife. What's my problem then? I don't know what to do with myself! Without heartache, something to complain about and constant worry, what to do next?

It boils down to the fact that I feel guilty about being happy for myself. Maybe I don't feel that I deserve it. But why? I have always put everyone and their happiness first in my life. Here is an opportunity for me to take care of me so that, in turn, I may take care of my family. Why am I having such a hard time with this?

Nightmare

I had the worst nightmare last night.

In my dream, I had quit my job, took my kids out of school and packed up all our belongings. I loaded everything into a moving truck and just as we were getting ready to leave, I received a phone call from my man.

"I've changed my mind," he said, "I can't do this."

"What do you mean changed your mind?" I stammer.

"I don't love you and don't want you to move in with me."

I woke up screaming and in tears.

Almost gone!

Two weeks and I will be gone!! I am so excited to leave Ohio and get back to what I know. I have never felt that this place is where I belong at all. In my bones, I feel it. Time to leave is getting closer and people keep asking if I am nervous. Honestly, I'm not. And that makes me nervous.

I am moving about 2,000 miles away from my family to be with a man in a place where I don't know a single soul. I have never been away from my family and have always been too scared to go too far. Anytime I needed something, they were just a hop, skip and a jump away to make it all better. I could always rely on them to cheer me up, make me laugh and listen to my stupid stories. Need a movie date? Call them up and they were there. Backyard bbqs during the summertime, cheering on the Buckeyes while they kicked Michigan's ass, nights of playing trivial pursuit. They are who makes me, well, me.

I am stepping out of my comfort zone and I am not afraid. I am ready for a change in my life and can't wait to see what is waiting around the next corner. People think that what I am doing is nuts but I have never felt more confident in any decision that I have ever made in my life. I am so excited to start over and begin a new life completely and work to get it right. My companion in this ain't that bad to look at either...