Freedom!!!

It's finally here! My day of freedom!! Today I officially lost 250 pounds by making my divorce final! Man it feels amazing...

I woke up this morning with feelings of dread. Dreading the day that was about to unfold. I took a shower, got dressed and sent the kids off to school like it was any other day. I arrived at work and tried to focus on what was in front of me. It didn't happen. The only thing I could think about was closing the chapter of my life entitled "My First Marriage".

A little over nine years ago, I entered into a marriage with the intentions of spending the rest of my life with this person. We talked about having kids, having a home and growing old together. Nowhere in that conversation was divorce even a sub-topic. That's not something you want to think about when you're young and in love. But as time moved on, we grew apart and things passed the point of no return. Our relationship was beyond repair and no matter what was done or said, we couldn't make it work.

So here I am and I can't help but hold this bittersweet feeling. I am glad that the marriage is over and that I can move on with my life. I have now found my soulmate and will be starting a new life with him and our kids. But at the same time, I can't help but feel like I failed. I was unable to keep my marriage from falling apart. Nine years of my life are gone and I can't get them back.

There is something good that came out of my broken marriage. I have three of the most beautiful kids in the world. They are healthy, so smart and just plain amazing! I can look at them and know that the last nine years were worth something.