I have had about all I can take from my ex. I despise the man and can't wait to be thousands of miles away from him. But even then, sadly, I will be tied to him for the rest of my life because of our three children.
My ex has a very negative effect on me. For years, I allowed him to push me down and treat me horribly. I changed who I was because I thought that would make him happy. I gave things up that I loved to do because he didn't like them. Everyday, I saw my wants and my dreams fall even further behind because I was not strong enough to tell him no.
Since leaving him, I've slowly climbed out of that hole. I have felt better emotionally, mentally and even physically. I have a better relationship with my parents, my sister and especially my children. But then, there are days like today where I lose myself again and fall back into that dark place.
I am so tired of dealing with this. Our court date to end our 9 year marriage is Tuesday, August 26th. I could not be any more excited. I know that he will always be a part of my life but this will close that chapter and allow me to start anew. I have made a vow to myself to not allow him to affect me like this any longer. He's not worth the energy it takes to be upset anymore.
I have to be a strong, positive role model for my kids. I have such a wonderful, bright, adventurous life ahead of me and I can't wait to start living it! I have the most amazing people around me and I am so blessed to be able to call on anyone of them in a time of need. My children are going to be alright and I know that I will be too.
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