I have a little over a week left and I keep waiting for something to go wrong. Everything about my relationship with this man has gone so smoothly. Almost too smoothly.
In my past, everytime I tried to do something, there were roadblocks. Seeing these as mere challenges to my dreams, I fought hard and overcame those barriers. I would come out the other side and things didn't turn out as I believed that they should have. There was heartache, sorrow and my life was worse than before. If I were smart, I would have seen those roadblocks for what they truly were; clear signs that I was on the wrong path.
But there are no roadblocks here. No hurdles to jump, no walls to break down. My sister, who is wise beyond her years, tells me that I need to calm down and focus on what is important. This relationship is meant to be. I am happier than I have ever been and am so excited to be this man's wife. What's my problem then? I don't know what to do with myself! Without heartache, something to complain about and constant worry, what to do next?
It boils down to the fact that I feel guilty about being happy for myself. Maybe I don't feel that I deserve it. But why? I have always put everyone and their happiness first in my life. Here is an opportunity for me to take care of me so that, in turn, I may take care of my family. Why am I having such a hard time with this?
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